Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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