my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
