Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
FUCK WHALES
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
