Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
