he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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