Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
