Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
