just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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