If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
