i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
