she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I cut my penus on the lid.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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