do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
