He asked to "fluff my boner.."
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
We don't watch enough power rangers
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
