I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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