Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
ugly people sure do ruin things
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
