I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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