dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
