physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
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