My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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