this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
