Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
