i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
