Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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