Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
