You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
