Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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