Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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