I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize