I think I won the penis lottery.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
