why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
