You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I will pee on everything he values.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
