I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Randomize
