He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
