You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
