i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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