Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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