My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
