My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
