I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
