I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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