If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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