I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
