Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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