I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i just google imaged poop.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I love you. Go after that dick
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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