uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
How's work?
Spinning.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
