So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
