Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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