So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
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