the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
