Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
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