Four minutes until I can fart!
meet me or not, i'm out of control
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
