Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
