you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
