Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Randomize
