when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
