butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
