dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
