My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
