Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
