Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Randomize