I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
