we're chasing vodka with high fives
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
