He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
