New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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