Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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