hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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