i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
