That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
